I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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