If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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