Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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