Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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