What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
