That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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