Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
