i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
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He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
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I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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