glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Green mimosas i think yes
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
