Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
