Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
