PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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