you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
