Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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