I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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