Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize