Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I love having hate sex.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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