Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
