Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
