I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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