Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
