dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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