Say something about gay babies.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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