i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
