I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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