I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
