we made out on top of his cat.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
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I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
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He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Who died my cat blue again?
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