No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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