I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
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you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize