Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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