I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
