That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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