My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
