When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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