Even the bartender felt bad for me
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
