hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I FOUND THE LEGS
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize