We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize