mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
