he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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