if you like me you must not know who I am
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
