k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
