Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
