You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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