in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You need Xanax blowdarts
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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