he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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