Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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