But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
