Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize