The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i out mim tonsoeep
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
