The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
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There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
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To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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