summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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