I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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