Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
