Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize