well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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