this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize