I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
