you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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